The
blog was actually written on April 26th, 2013, after watching the
movie.
I
have watched this movie last evening – Lessons
in Forgetting. It was disturbing.
Just
a few thoughts, totally uncorrelated, are coming to my mind again and
again. Wanted to note them down.
Since
childhood, we keep seeing newspaper daily. Newspaper is never a
pleasing thing other than the Sunday magazine, book reviews, cricket
news, cooking and beauty tips and a few more things like that.
Newspaper always tells us that something bad has happened again that
day. Knowing it since-ever, one starts to assume that bad things are
part of life. I mean - it happens, but we never know the intensity of
it until it happens to us.
I
mean it – I had a bus accident in Jan 2000, while I was going for
my convocation for Masters degree to DEI, Agra. I was supposed to get
Directors medal. It was a foggy morning and it was a head bang
between the bus (I was in) and a truck. Before that day accident was
always a news, but the experience made me feel the fear of it.
Same
is for other things typically reported in newspapers. Mostly we are
aware of it, and that helps us taking our own precautions as well –
self protection or improvement. But, we typically don't relate to it
– to the pain of the other victim. We know a thing, extract our
lesson out of it, and move on. The moment, we relate to it, it
disturbs.
Same
happened to me last evening. Seeing the visuals was really making me
relate to all those pains that I have never looked at with intensity.
I guess this is the difference in being sorry for something and being
serious for the same.
I
also thought, is it so natural animal instinct in us. Starting from
God Brahma, to all the wars between kings where wealth and women were
acquired to today – it is so constant.
Am
I supporting it? No!! By nature I am a fearful women, I don't take
stupid risks of getting home late alone and so on. But, I am
analyzing my fear. I feel if I took precautions and was fearful,
probably it was right – it helped me be safe. Am I trying to feel
right, may be "yes". But I am also trying to understand
human.
So,
at one end there are these examples starting from Brahma, on the
other hand there are examples of Shivaji and Laxman, who looked at
other women as mother.
So
I would understand Men are of two kind – one who respects women and
one who doesn't. Everyman who doesn't respect women, doesn't end up
raping them as he is more self protective about not falling into the
trouble.
If
one overhear a (decent) guys gang conversation - of the so called
educated professionals, it would not sound very different from the
rowdy gang shown in movie – just that they look different and their
language is more polished.
So
this kind of guy, doesn't rape, but he ends up influencing women –
the way they show Rishi Soman's character in the movie. So to get the
thing, he doesn't use his body power, but uses brains – The power
of education. Than it is claimed that it was mutual.
Am
I saying that man is wrong and women is Sati-Savitri? No! I guess
not, if that were the case then why those weak moments? So, this
feeling is there in women as well, to get pleasure, feel good.
Probably, in lower educational and financial class people are
struggling with more basic needs of life like food and water and even
life. So Things get suppressed for women and rough for men. In upper
or urban class women feel more free - Things become more polished.
As
long as you don't harm anyone, and don't force anyone and be safe -
things are OK – that’s how it is shown in movies also now a days
– like, Cocktail.
So
are we talking about the idea of living free, the way animals do? Do
whatever, with whoever you feel like – have fun and do great work!
Are we saying that we are going for a new civilization? Where we live
free, and evolved only technically and materials-wise? What would
happen to family system than? Would it die?
Or
is it, that though we are all human, but still we are different
species? Some habitat live in the defined society, family, and some
live free. It would be OK, as long as there is a separation between
the two habitat. But it is not, and we don't know if the person we
are dealing with is who – and its not just educational and
financial background – its the mentality?
It
makes me feel less concluded, I come back to my initial thoughts that
I have been living with – fear is good sometimes.
I
wouldn't deny the lesson of the father in the movie – "Never
run away from the things that terrify you" - I would just add
that do the SWOT analysis of self and that fight them back with
proper strategy.
I
would conclude if you can't remove all wrongs from the world, at
least protect yourself from them and do right by yourself – each
small drop contribute to the ocean Or as they say about the oxygen
mask in the airplane.
Feel
relieved with my lessons now :)
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