Empowerment

Today, I experienced a feeling on being on 'cloud nine'. We all get this feeling with certain achievements in life, or during certain big moments. I got this feeling after a test drive of an automatic car. It was a big day for me.

Let me explain -

As a growing up adult, I have never learnt driving car. I tried scooty (even bike) etc, but after a few falls, I gave up on them. I had a 'BSA lady-bird' cycle when I was in campus, as student, and used to feel proud on being called as 'night-bird on lady-bird' during my visits to lab at night for long coding/experiments sessions. So as far as I remember, in the process of growing up, as student, either I was happy cycling or always counted on public transport, or got picked-up and dropped.

After few years of joining my job at Oracle, I bought my first car, on my name, and learnt driving also, but could never drive independently. And my car always remained a weekend vehicle for me, that was driven by someone else, or me with someone sitting on the left seat, ready to pull the hand-brake if I make mistake.

It has been eight long years and I could never understand the right equation of gears, brake, accelerator, direction, speed, front, back and all ... I used to feel the desire to drive when I would see other women driving cars independently. I used to feel, I can do everything, but not driving a car, all by myself.

I tried rationalising, and realised, that in these many years I have not been regular, and at times gap between my two driving sessions used to be in months too. So, I decided that I would drive daily. I told V (my husband) that the whole of this week, I would drop him to office by car, and then come back home by bus/auto, as weekend or nearby driving is not giving me the confidence.

Monday came, but because of our daughter having cough, my sleep for the previous night wasn't sound. So was not feeling very fresh in the morning. I remembered "Alchemist", and thought, its not for me. But then remembered Salman Khan [Agar main ek bar commitment ...] and went for dropping V to office and came back by myself, feeling happy.

Today was the second day, and initially as I woke up I felt lazy to continue with my commitment of driving. So, I felt like asking V to go by himself, and me continuing with my work.. but then realised that I shouldn't loose the rhythm/continuation, and I got ready to drive him to work, before starting with my work for the day.

V saw my seriousness this time, and took me for test drive for an automatic geared car - which he (and many other friends) has been mentioning for a very long time, but I was never able to visualise it - probably coz of my own inner fears - so this time, I was there and I had to try, and then I felt that I could fly after I was done with it.

No science, physics, chemistry or maths in understanding so many parameters together. Just move, if you want to, and stop, when you need to.. so simple. I simply don't understand, how I have been so ignorant for so many years - BUT I WAS ..

As, I was on the way back home, V got dropped to his office and asked me, "Would you take the (existing) car home?" and I replied, "No."

He further asked, "If it were the automatic?", and I replied, "Than I could have."

Without a delay, we signed up the application form for buying a new car for me..  that I could drive all by myself :)

Ignorance is not always the bliss, and empowerment doesn't come with big things only. For the first time in life, I feel the need of a rewind button that takes me eight years back, and I would choose a different car to have been more empowered for all these years :)

Pic. source - from internet